The 5th of June 2002, early morning Central Time, watching a sporting event half a world away more in hope than anything else. I was on summer break from school at that point so I could afford to be awake at whatever time I wanted. The event I was watching was the United States versus Portugal match to open group play at the World Cup from Suwon, South Korea. While it’s nice enough to talk about that particular match in the context of the result and how it came to pass, I’m going to take a different angle on this.

It’s been over 12 and a half years since the match was played. Of the 28 players who took part in it, only 2 can still be considered professional players. This particular post is inspired by the 2nd youngest player that day one Landon Donovan. At the time of the tournament he was pretty much unknown to me. He had burned out at German club Bayer Leverkusen before returning to the States in ignominy and San Jose Earthquakes were basically not on my radar. Yet he had so much promise with that shrug of his after his cross was turned in for an own goal in that Portugal match. Here was the future of the national team, his age would ensure that he would be around for at least the 2014 World Cup and 2018 at a push. To think that the lasting impression of him at a World Cup would be this moment four years ago:

Now that his career is presumably over, I think I want to talk about how we as a culture can fail to take into account the emotions of public figures. After that first World Cup, there were visions that he could become that world class player that would play for massive clubs. Then as time passed, he became known as soft, misunderstood, Landycakes, not willing to put in effort and probably the worst thing that could be said in some circles, content to be in his comfort zone.

At the end of the 2012 MLS season, he went on a sabbatical from playing. He embarked on a world tour just to do whatever he wanted to do for a few months without having to worry about being a professional athlete. Among the things he did was play another game barefoot in Cambodia with a group of locals. I think I started to understand him at least a little. He wanted to play the game because it was fun and not because it was a job. Even well paid people can hate their jobs too because it can sometimes be all that they know how to do.

The best example of this I could find in anime this year was in Nourin. That is a show about an idol who retires after really finding that she lacked passion for being an idol. She goes to attend a school in the countryside that is about as far away from the popular idol lifestyle as possible. By the end, she finds herself caring about crops and the small group of friends she makes at the school more than she ever really cared about the mass of idol fans. Sometimes it just takes a little time away to realize what a person really is. I think that’s something we as a society could definitely do better.

Last year as part of this series, I ran a post where I decided to write about the experience of watching as many random shows as possible in a single day until I felt burned out. So once again I will be using a random number generator to go through the catalogue of a certain large streaming site where the number of available series has increased significantly over the past year. Instead of 269 to choose from it is now 478. That number will actually be fewer that that since I will not be watching anything I have already completed, and I will be picking up from the last episode after dropping it. I’m going to need a bit of help getting back after this.

Starting this off is Tenpou Ibun Ayakashi Ayashi or Ghost Slayer Ayashi as it is also known, and it’s the third episode. I probably watched the first 2 episodes of this back when it aired in 2006. Do you know what it’s like to join in the middle of a show after over 8 years? It involves a lot of asking questions like this:I had to admit pretty early on that I had no idea what was going on. There was a meeting at some secret base thing where in the middle of a tense conversation food was broken out. The rest of the episode seemed fine as the protagonist Yuki was in the middle of trying to find himself with the help of a kid in traveling to Edo and back. Given the choice of settling down with the kid and his mother and becoming an Ayakashi fighting against monsters, he chose the harder path. Also interesting in this episode was the bit of foreshadowing from an armor vendor that said black ships would be appearing in 10 years, but it was really about how people were not prepared for threats anymore and maybe their society was going soft at the worst time. That’s enough for that episode for now.

Next up is one of those summer shows I skipped. Of course it’s not Nozaki-kun that I would consider going back to watch, but Rail Wars!. This is probably not going to be very fun.

It’s this kind of show…

I pretty much know I would have dropped this show inside the first minute, but I have to just last the 24 minutes. It’s pretty much a training montage and trip to first day of on-site training where they track down a pair of purse snatchers. The main character also has To Love-Ru level perverted accidents, but by the end the group of four characters manages to get their jobs as part of the security team at JNR. That episode wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be just a few seconds in. I don’t know if I would have dropped it after that episode yet.

Third up is the first episode of 1999’s Chance Triangle Session. This is an idol anime produced by Madhouse, presumably when idol anime was a rare thing indeed. So out of the blocks this looks visually pretty terrible. One of the girls in this show is called Nozomi, unfortunately she’s the sheltered ojou-sama type character that would not get by in today’s world. As for the episode itself, there’s only a part where Nozomi’s butler tries to break through security at the concert that’s the centerpiece of the episode, but that’s it for silliness. The rest is just standard, watching Nozomi and the other protagonists, Yuki and Akari get inspired before the plot device of an opportunity for them to become idols appears in front of them in the form of an educational pamphlet to a music school. I’d have dropped this really quick if I’m honest.

The fourth episode of the day takes us back a year to the shoujo exploitation series Diabolik Lovers. I had watched episodes 1 and 4 (for terribad purposes), and at least these episodes were short. So episode 2 it is. So I remembered that this was just a show about a group of vampires just being cruel to the protagonist Yui. I can’t imagine it is any better than I remember it being. So that second episode was really just one of the vampires called Ayato being cruel to her at every opportunity and then Yui’s only shred of hope is taken from her at the very end. Why did people like this? Or am I just imagining a person out there who would like this?

Up fifth is a shonen show I’ve managed to avoid despite its popularity. Basically it’s the 2011 version of Hunter x Hunter. I don’t think the first episode of this will really have much apart from character introductions, but that’s just what the random number generator wants after all.

What I imagine HxH is really like.

And so it would prove to be something entirely different from that. It seems like it would be a fun show to watch and the characters of Gon, Kurapika and Leorio would probably be good characters. I think the alcoholic ship captain would be fun to watch too, but I don’t imagine he sticks around. I’d probably continue watching this show too were it not for the incredible episode count.

The next up is another show from this year Mangaka-san to Assistant-san to The Animation, which is far too long a title for this show. I read some of the manga before this aired back in the spring and even it was too dumb for me. And even though the jokes were maybe slightly better than I remember, the fact that it is animated here makes it a little more lively. I’d probably consider finishing this show were I given the opportunity.

Next up is…sigh, Samurai Flamenco. At the current rate of watching this show, I might have it complete by the 2040s. That’s about the only bit of interest I have in this show. I just dislike every character in this show so much and I’ve only seen 2 episodes. So the third episode was just more things being stupid. I can’t believe any actual people would behave like this in real life. I think even the corniest of the shows in this genre are much more believable. I really hope I never have to watch another episode of this.

Then we have another show that I dropped six years ago only to pick up in the middle. What was BLASSREITER (stop yelling the title at me) about again? The OP has terrible looking CG things on motorcycles, so I assume it’s a children’s card game adaptation. The terrible CG just continues in each of the action scenes because this was a 2008 Gonzo show and they had nothing left to offer viewers. I should also add that the 2nd episode of this show likes all things Germany so much that I feel a little guilty for not writing this section in German. That was about all the interest I got even as Gerd was busy choking out a woman than transforming into a monster then fleeing on his terrible CG motorcycle for a terrible CG chase scene. I wonder why I even watched the first episode of this mess.

Next on the docket is 2009’s Tegami Bachi. I could have sworn I saw an episode of this, but I was probably confusing it for something else. This episode opens with the protagonist Gauche finding a kid on the floor with a postage label. Surely this show should know that you cannot send people through the post. The boy is named Lag Seeing and the plot of the show will center around Gauche getting Lag to his destination. I did like how it felt that these two characters were bonding early in their journey as they learn things about each other. This is another one that I would probably watch were it not for the length of the series. 25 episodes is a lot of time for this series to ruin itself by introducing new characters that take away from the primary relationship at the center, and I think that’s what would probably happen here.

Next after that was one of Yamakan’s 5 minute shorts made for charity in the wake of the Tohoku earthquake. I can’t really be too critical about this one called “Blossom” for the fact that it was made for free, is properly uplifting and I like Sigur Rós.

Then it was Hiiro no Kakera. Which I think I watched the 2nd episode of last year. I certainly wouldn’t have watched the second episode on my own. This was a shoujo harem obviously since the male characters are all pretty much shining. I should also mention at this point that this was about the time when my fantasy football league games started so my attention was divided a little. Ok, maybe a lot since I went to the third episode of season 2 and watched 10 minutes before I realized I had the wrong episode. This is really a slow moving show where little happens. This episode was introducing the character of Inukai who was not looked upon well by the rest of the members. The highlight of this episode for me was when it looked like there would be an actual fight in this show, but then Tamaki had to come in and yell to stop it and everyone just stopped. I don’t understand…

Next up was an episode of Air Master. I had previously seen the first two episodes and the final episode with the group of Classy anime watchers. The takeaway from that is if this show was your favorite anime then you should feel bad about your taste in anime. The third episode did little to dispel this thought as the 6-meter-tall protagonist Maki just did her spin stuff in the air in the middle of a fight. Renge is as annoying as hell and shouldn’t even exist. I’m done with this show.

After that, was the 2nd episode of Arcana Famiglia, another one of these shoujo harem shows. At least the protagonist Felicita is passable as a protagonist. She had control of her own future taken away in the first episode so now she had to win some tournament to win it back. I think that her ability to read minds would make her powerful, but the fact that she was assigned to a division and then won the leadership of it through her own abilities. Then the episode takes a weird turn where it comes down to trying to find the owner of a cat. It’s nice, but that’s about it. I think I still justifiably dropped this show when it first aired.

So for the 22nd and final episode of anime on this particular day (I’ve skipped over some shorts that wouldn’t make for much more than a sentence), it’s the KyoAni show Kyoukai no Kanata. I dropped this show pretty earlier and I can’t help thinking this is the worst KyoAni show. The third episode of this show is far from terrible, but the angst that hangs over it is very much a departure from what would normally come from this particular studio. As far as my feelings for this episode, they pretty much mirror what I think about the series as a whole from what I’ve seen so far. I simply do not believe in the main pairing of Mirai and Akihito. I still feel disappointment in this work from KyoAni, but not as much as Tamako Market. I don’t think I will be revisiting this any time soon.

So to conclude on this second annual random anime viewing day, I think of the shows I watched Hunter x Hunter was almost certainly the best, but it was probably the least likely to be a show I continued on simply because of its length. The worst was probably Air Master because who could really tolerate Renge for 27 episodes of this. At the very least I did manage to add a few more shows to my end of year ranking of series that I watched at least 1 episode of. None of them will make the top 10 though, but that is a post for later in the series.

There are any number of shows that I really do want to watch, but for some reason I never get around to watching. These shows are invariably terrible, but there’s just something that draws me in, but not quite.

1. Horizon in the Middle of Nowhere
2. Golden Boy
3. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex
4. Evangelion 2.0 (I actually have a copy that has been sitting unwatched on a bookshelf for almost 2 years)
5. Nozaki-kun
6. Baccano
7. Log Horizon
8. Yuruyuri Season 2
9. One Outs
10. Aria the Animation
11. Code Geass R2
12. Toradora
13. Getting Hit By a Car: The Animation

14. Kill La Kill
15. Space Dandy

This is the start of something.

As I’ve covered the last two years, I tend to read manga that is pretty terrible and shouldn’t really exist. I don’t feel bad for doing it even though I am bad for it and should feel bad. I can’t help but think that it was still a pretty good year regardless from the manga that I do read, though without a doubt you will not think for one second to pick up any of these.

So The World God Only Knows came to an end this year. It had a proper ending where the lead chooses one of the girls and it was actually the correct choice. It was kind of a roller coaster of emotions by the end as Keima was once again saving the world and having to deal with his own emotions of choices made in the past. The brutal honesty he had with Tenri in his letter to her was another nice touch. He cared for all of the characters, but he felt extra special towards Chihiro. That’s the way these should all work.

And this is exactly where this manga would go

One of my favorite chapters of manga to read this year was the 144th chapter of Tale of Genji inspired harem filth Minamoto-kun Monogatari. The protagonist spent much of this year between girls having emotionally detached sex with a couple. Terumi wanted something more and an introduction to the fitness girl Tokonatsu Yuu drove him on a path of self-improvement. So in this chapter, his aunt Kaoruko was giving him a very physical life lesson that inspired the title of this post. Basically, if he wants to have a real relationship with a member of the opposite sex, he has to learn how to hold a conversation before diving in. That’s a valuable lesson for all you forever alone types out there. Learn to have a conversation about as many topics as you can.

Holy shit…

Meanwhile, KissxSis continues to be as harem filthy as ever. I think Mikazuki might be the most normal one now, and that’s saying a lot from that group around Keita. Eventually they have to go some direction with his relationship with the teacher Yuuzuki, but I think that might end up being a sad direction.

Then there’s the fun journey that has happened in Ore ga Ojou-sama Gakkou ni “Shomin Sample” Toshite Rachirareta Ken
(is there a way of shortening that because I haven’t seen it?). Recent chapters of this light novel adaptation have seen the class go to a construction of a normal city where the lessons the protagonist Kimito passed on to Aika. She was able to get along with people by simply being able to competently order food as a restaurant and also knowing how to play a “fighting” game. I think Kimito’s lost memory has now become the most important aspect of the series and there’s also an anime adaptation coming down the pipeline next year. This is the next series that will be considered “Light Novels Have Come Too Far” adaptation.

Because I clearly don’t get enough mileage out of LvB

So a couple months back as I had been part of the recording of the fall season previews for the Friday Anime Podcast an idea was born out of pure stupidity. Kelloggs, who was also a part of this had regaled us for a while of stories about getting unusual people to watch harem anime. The end result of this was a set of rules for consuming alcohol to a bunch of harem tropes. While keeping in mind that this was built with To-Love Ru: Darkness in mind, Kelloggs, Aeroblip and I were set to try this on Hagure Yuusha no Aesthetica. Plans were made, then Kelloggs had other stuff to do. So in a moment of stupidity, and because it’s my most popular post on the blog, I suggested trying it out on the first episode of Ladies versus Butlers. Not the greatest idea.

It begins…

04:52 – +1 nudity

08:40 – +1 (2) – Akiharu and Sernia collide resulting in her breast being grabbed

08:53 – +2 (4) – Shot of Sernia’s panties that cannot be seen by Akiharu

08:57 – +1 (5) – Akiharu goes for another squeeze

09:21 – +2 (7) – Another shot of Sernia’s panties unseen by Akiharu

09:53 – +1 (8) – Statement that it’s a misunderstanding

10:48 – +2 (10) – Introduction of Mimina, a loli character who is 19

11:04 – +2 (12) – Fanservice involving Mimina in this case Akiharu is able to see her panties

11:29 – +2 (14) – Akiharu grabs Mimina’s breast

11:37 – +1 (15) – Akiharu states again that there’s a misunderstanding

11:54 – +1 (16) – Akiharu accidentally looks up Fou’s skirt and her panties are visible

12:53 – +2 (18) – After taking off her clothes because she had tea splashed on her, Saori’s panties are shown.

13:05 – +1 (19) – Saori gives us the first boob shake sound effect of the series.

13:19 – +4 (23) – After colliding with Akiharu, Sanae has the boob shake sound effect, her crotch is on his face and panties can be seen.

13:24 – +2 (25) – Sanae starts unintentionally grinding on Akiharu’s face.

It’s very likely anyone else doing this would be drunk at this point.

14:18 – +1 (26) – Akiharu again states to Sernia that it’s a misunderstanding

15:26 – +2 (28) – Akiharu collides into Tomomi, a childhood friend, and grabs her breast.

18:45 – +5 (33) – Mimina is seen taking a bath

18:49 – +1 (34) – Saori is seen nude

18:52 – +1 (35) – Sanae slipping on something while nude

18:55 – +2 (37) – Hedyeh and Ayse are taking a bath together.

18:57 – +4 (41) – Pina, a non-harem member loli character, is taking a bath

19:52 – +3 (44) – Tomomi is seen putting on panties with no one else in the room

It’s finally over…

Conclusion: Assuming that’s approximately 1.2 ounces of beverage that’s 52.8 ounces in total. That’s like drinking just over 2 full size bottles of wine in the space of 15 minutes. It’s just a bad idea to do this in general, especially with Ladies versus Butlers. For a frame of reference for other shows, the most drinks in the Oniikoto drinking game is 27 in a single episode that’s spread over 23 minutes. Aeroblip and I would eventually go on to finish the series while sticking to the same rules. Fortunately, it never got as bad as it did in that first episode again.

During the NFL season, there is a group conversation a bunch of anime/sports fans have as the games are going on Sunday afternoons. There’s even a fantasy football league that is in it’s third season. I thought I did alright, but I didn’t make it to this week’s championship game as everyone really wants to be. But that’s not the part any of you care about, it’s the team names:

This end of regular season look doesn’t include the period when team names were changed to mock someone who actually liked the ending of Kimikiss. Who really liked Mao at the end of that series anyway?

I really don’t want to relive getting dumped out in humiliating fashion by Kelloggs, so instead, I will just provide some highlights of these conversations. Which include making fun of tweets like this:

Heralding the birth of the greatest trophy in the history of college football:

Mocking Kobe Bryant’s shot selection as he tried to pass Michael Jordan on the NBA’s all-time scoring list:

Laughing at the University of Michigan’s football team:

Strong takes

My favorite Breaking Madden gifs of the year:

And as always, completely out of context anime screenshots:

Over the past few episodes of Shirobako, a show about a group of girls trying to make it in the world of anime production, there has been a pretty surprising theme. Quitting a job is a perfectly fine thing to do in pursuing one’s passions. At the same there’s some risk involved in doing that for at least 1 of the people who did it as well as someone still considering quitting their own different job.

I bring this up because it’s had a bit of an impact on my own life. In order for that to be the case I’ve really had to have been thinking about this for a while. You see, basically I’ve been trying to rationalize reasons why I continue in my own job. I think many people out there do this as well, but they have perfectly legitimate reasons for staying. However, I’m in a point in my life where I can probably do something else with my own life.

Shirobako simply brought up my own thoughts on wanting to quit my job. For the first time in my adult life it feels like the job market out there is good enough to take a chance. I think I can pursue happiness away from this demographically cursed part of the country and start anew. Even the number of people quitting their jobs around the country is growing and that is a good sign.

So in the coming year I will try to pursue my happiness. It will hopefully take me somewhere that I don’t feel constantly cold, alone and with little prospect of changing. I just needed a group of people involved in animation production that like Ideon a little too hard.

Jozy Altidore is something of a mystery player. The American striker plying his trade in the Northeast of England at Sunderland has something of a bad reputation. While no one really calls him Dozy Antiscore, it can’t be debated that he has very rarely troubled the score sheet in the Premier League. It’s never a good sign when you get quotes like this from the manager after a match:

“If Jozy had scored, you would have said it was a great decision to play him. I tried to say him at halftime to look for the net and don’t keep thinking about that, but he needs a goal.”

His defenders on the internet last season were pointing to the World Cup for his breakout and possible move to a different club. Let’s see how that ended:

With the numbers 69 appearances, 2 goals standing out to anyone who looks at his performances in England, he still has his defenders. They say things such as; Sunderland is a club with terrible players, no one will pass him the ball, he needs a manager that will let Jozy be Jozy out there. So through the magic of Football Manager, we are going to give him just what he needs…

Since this is about making Jozy succeed in the Premier League, we will need to give him some sort of support at the Stadium of Light. First, we need a manager who will ensure that Jozy will always play even if he is woefully out of form. Someone who is young enough to understand his needs but will still make him the star. Someone who you could say is like a producer (and to keep this in the realm of an anime blog post).

And done. Now we need to surround the center of our cast of footballing idols to make sure that Jozy will always have a chance to do some goals. So with the magic of the editor being deployed again this year, we’ve given him the following supporting cast:

• From Bayern Munich: Manuel Neuer, Philipp Lahm, David Alaba, Jerome Boateng, Arjen Robben
• From Manchester City: Vincent Kompany, Yaya Toure
• From Real Madrid: Toni Kroos, Cristiano Ronaldo, Gareth Bale, James Rodriguez
• From Barcelona: Lionel Messi

If you remember last year, when I went crazy with the editor I sort of broke the Gibraltarian economy. Having learned my lesson, I sent back some of my deadwood players to the clubs I stole from. I’m sure Real Madrid and Barcelona will enjoy having Danny Graham and Lee Cattermole in their respective squads. Upon seeing that the wage budget was something like £4 million per week over which would be enough to have the Financial Fair Play people laughing hysterically, I unilaterally gave all my new players 90% wage cuts…and I was still over a million over.

I then had to settle on a tactic. So with my World X and Jozy I wanted to do an attacking formation. A 4-2-3-1 with my star man up front with plenty of attacking intent. When it worked, it was wonderful. When it didn’t then any team that could keep hold of the ball could attack the 2 defenders and goalkeeper I left back. Who doesn’t like seeing scorelines like 5-3 or 6-2. It all came to a head when playing Manchester United away and seeing Jozy score a hat-trick at Old Trafford. In an 8-4 defeat.

At this point, my opportunity to turn Jozy into a proven Premier League goalscorer was not looking good. What good is it when my defense would make 30 goal a season strikers common place if I could only get Jozy to 10 goals. So with my tactic proven to be stupid, I went to the official forums of the developer and I knew exactly the person to look for, Mr U Rosler. While named after the German recently sacked at Wigan Athletic, his tactics always had great names. These include gems like Doom of Men, Field of Bones, The Quickening, Dark Matter and The Tube. For this particular job, I went with one called Apex Predator. I would not lose again in the league…until the last game when I intentionally played a weakened side.

Unsurprisingly, when there is a team that is not losing games, there is a striker also scoring lots of goals. Actually, that turned out to be Messi, who broke the Premier League record for goals in a season with 4 games to go. But at least Jozy was putting in those assists. Anyway, to make this long story short, Sunderland won the league going away with 97 points. As for Jozy:

That’s 25 goals from 38 matches in a world class team. It was the 3rd most in the league, but paled compared to Messi putting up 40. At least he made it into the Team of the Season to make him feel better:

So in conclusion, I think this proves that given the right amount of talent around him, Jozy Altidore could become an elite striker at the Premier League level because Football Manager is always right about these kinds of things. Of course I would still want to attempt to disprove this theory by questioning Football Manager itself. That would encompass choosing the same team with the same elite players, only choosing to play the worst player in the game as a striker, who is also probably the wrong side of 40 and plays somewhere in the South Pacific. I will leave that for another day.

Every year watching anime you start to notice patterns where very little is surprising in terms of quality. Just do a little research on a studio and director and your own tastes and 9 times out of 10 it will be exactly what you expected. This post is going to focus on those few shows that failed to live up to my expectation where tomorrow’s will be about those that exceeded them.

Momo Kyun Sword was always going to be rather shit, but it even failed to clear that bar beginning with the worst sequence of running ever seen in anime as pictured above from the first episode. With the Classy Anime group, we could only make it halfway through this pile of crap before boredom set in. We specifically mocked the opening animation for this sequence, which surpassed Walkure Romanze‘s horse jumping 50 feet in the air for absurdity.

Trinity Seven was adapted from a manga I found entertaining and it began airing back in October. The protagonist Arata was a fun character in the manga. Always smiling in the way that half the cast of Horizon does. Instead, they simply skipped over parts that made him interesting and thought that the audience cared about his deadly serious “Must Find Hijiri” act to be the most important. It’s probably about getting more people to read the new light novel adaptation instead of buying the anime.

Wizard Barristers set out to try to redefine animation as we know it. With little money and time to complete the final episodes, the show took a novel approach, not animating things at all. Visual novels have more animation to them than the final episodes had at times because at least the text changes. The Wizard Barristers script reading descended to the level of infamy. The show didn’t even live up to the low standard I expected of it.

I have only the following words to say about the end of Golden Time. Fuck, fuck, fuck this shit, fuck everything, fuck Linda, fuck Kouko, fuck Ghost Banri, set it all on fire, Nana is Best Girl.

When checking out Yuuki Yuuna, I did expect it to be a bit of a Madoka clone. Unfortunately, it decided to take the worst bits of that particular show and center it entirely around it. This is now officially the era of Suffering Porn in anime. Main characters must suffer for entirely no reason at all since this cast seems to have no free will of its own. The only good character happens to be the one who has been treated as evil by the end of the series. Even as I was watching Karin suffer like an idiot in the penultimate episode I felt nothing because this show is so dumb.

Given the options I was provided for this year’s Secret Santa review competition, I was provided three options. I could go with Tortov Roddle, which while available on Youtube was far too short to really get my money’s worth in a review. The next option was Kino’s Journey, which is a show that is far too good for me to review. That left me with Akuma no Riddle, a show that was widely available when it came out earlier this year. Given the feedback I got from those who had watched it, I was warned to look out for the bullshit at the end. The only question was whether I would choose to unethically watch this on the website of the licensor or follow my ethical calling.

The first thing this series does is to put the viewer into the life of the protagonist Tokaku as she is training. She quickly gets annoying from this point on when there’s a flashback and we are reminded that she is actually a killing virgin. She’s thrown into what seems to be a normal classroom where she quickly befriends another girl named Haru who appears weak and generally helpless. By the end of the second episode, the general concept of this show is pretty clear.

The rest of the class apart from Haru are trained assassins, and if they are able to kill Haru they will be granted whatever wish they desire. Each has to notify Haru that they intend to kill her via a special notice where upon they have 48 hours to get the job done or they will be disappeared from the school. Tokaku decides she doesn’t want to play this game so she takes it upon herself to play the protector.

What follows after that are greater and greater escalations of the schemes attempted to kill Haru that end up being pretty obvious. It starts pretty quickly with a girl named Otoya who liked scissors too much and wanted the freedom to kill anything with her wish. She’s disposed of quite easily be Tokaku. Then along the way, you get girls with split personalties, a girl who specializes in poisons who comically meets her end, an actual Romeo and Juliet ending for two potential killers, an immortal girl that has the absurdly named Highlander disease and a cyborg. Tokaku gets troubled just a little bit more with each one since this is supposed to be suspenseful.

However, it all seems to be over too early. A little too early. With enough rope, the plot managed to hang the rest of the series. So after she’s defeated the final potential killer, it’s revealed that Haru is actually like a queen bee sending Tokaku as a worker out to do things for her. That’s where Nio, who had acted as a messenger for the entire proceedings proceeds to start attacking Haru and Tokaku. The latter takes her out before Haru decides to just sacrifice herself on Tokaku’s knife.

So Tokaku is the grand winner of this competition and with it comes whatever she wishes for. What would you guess would happen? Would she reflect on how unfortunate she is to be treated and brought up as a child soldier and that this game meant she had to kill the only person she had ever befriended. Well, you would be wrong. Instead, everyone is brought back to life and everyone gets a happy ending. What was the point of all of this?

So the plot structure is awful, but there were a few things I did like about this series. The action scenes were pretty intense at times and I never complained about how well things were animated. The characters outside of the main pair are pretty interesting for as brief as they are on the screen. They also had an OST-padding 13 different ending themes for this series. Most importantly, it was really entertaining in a dumb action sort of way that I hardly get to experience these days. But, and the it’s as big a but as I can use, this is definitely not a show I can recommend to anyone because it has the 2nd worst reset ending in anime.

Continuing from yesterday’s post, I have to highlight the shows that did better than I thought they would. That’s more than I can really expect since I put nearly everything down these days as a 7/10 show unless it lets me down immediately by taking me to a dumb Hooters clone. At least everything I watched this year after that particular episode was better so it’s a plus.

World Conquest was an interesting little show. I liked how it portrayed the dystopian world of West Edogawa without revealing everything until the end. There were also fun stand-alone portions of the series, like Kate’s war on smokers in episode 3 or Natalia’s back story. Best of all, it was mostly fun even as it got serious toward the end. It was definitely one of my highlights of the year even as it came early in the year.

The 6th episode of No Game No Life features an epic game of shiritori that was more fun to watch than I really anticipated going in. The whole show is just about a brother-sister combination that is completely overpowered in every sort of contest. It makes them perfect for a world where everything is decided in games. This episode just felt like the most fun thing to watch at the time. Explosions, weird alien creatures, Steph running around in the background as a distraction and mockery of the definition of lewd made this particular game fun. The rest of the series still held up as well even with the incest vibes coming from the relationship at the center of the series.

The 7th episode of Super Sonico is probably my favorite episode this year. Considering the show itself was the Champion of Non-Offensive Bullshit™ for 2014, I was pleasantly surprised by how gripping a trip to Niigata could be. The theme of the episode is perfectly captured in Sonico’s thoughts. “There may not be much out there, but we should venture out into it.” Along the way, she meets a number of people that only appear in this episode who give her a bit of their time to show her around one of the less popular areas of Japan. If you want something from 2014 that is the definition of “slice of life”, then I don’t think you can do any better than this single episode.

The series Orenchi no Furo Jijou almost never leaves a single room of the protagonist Tatsumi’s house. After finding the mermaid Wakasa in a riverbed, Tatsumi and his new friend develop a great platonic relationship. Wakasa’s strange friends invite themselves over into Tatsumi’s bath and they generally have a good time. The fact that it is digestible in five minute chunks makes it the perfect format for a show like this. I went in expecting it to amp up the shipping angle of this series, but I really like how they have developed the relationship between the two characters into a nice buddy act.

The 11th episode of the short romantic comedy I Can’t Understand What My Husband Is Saying is among the most powerful episodes I watched this year. The series is largely about how Kaoru struggles to relate to her new husband Hajime who is an otaku with strange interests. The 11th episode is sort of a look at the life of Kaoru before she met Hajime. It’s a constant stream of her going through difficult times thinking that everything is okay as it is. All the time, anyone looking at her life can tell that it isn’t. Then the episode goes back to the present after she is living with the love of her life. Finally, it fittingly ends with the twist of fate that allowed her to meet Hajime for the first time. It’s episodes like this that justify my faith in continuing to watch anime after all.

So rather than spend the time going through this and actually writing a little bit about each show, which you wouldn’t actually read, I will just give you the full list. This is all shows that ended in 2014 that I watched at least 1 episode of. So there are plenty of dropped shows and I did end up watching a lot of first episodes just to be able to get to over 100.

Last 2 Out: Kill La Kill and Space Dandy

It was hard to narrow this list down to 100 and eventually some shows had to be left out. So I had to go with 2 shows I dropped in the first episode, one because the fan culture around it has made me hate the show with a passion despite how popular it is and the other one because it features a guy who goes to a space version of Hooters, the worst creation in the history of western civilization.

These Shows Were Really Terrible

100. The Irregular at Magic High School
99. Samurai Flamenco
98. Wizard Barristers: Benmashi Cecil
97. Laughing Under the Clouds
96. Magical Warfare
95. Dai-Shogun – Great Revolution
94. Nobunaga the Fool
93. Toriko
92. Wolf Girl and Black Prince
91. Rage of Bahamut: Genesis
90. Zillions of Enemies X Ignition
89. Buddy Complex
88. Hamatora
87. Magimogi Rurumo
86. Argevollen
85. Golden Time
84. Magica Wars
83. Captain Earth
82. Yuuki Yuna is a Hero
81. Nagi-Asu: A Lull in the Sea

This bunch is a group of shows that I generally found pretty awful in the first episode or later. I completed several of these titles (Wizard Barristers, Z/X Ignition, Magical Warfare, Buddy Complex, Hamatora, Golden Time and Yuuki Yuna) but each with a tinge of regret that I could have spent my time much better.

These Shows Were More Boring Than Awful

80. DRAMAtical Murder
79. Gugure! Kokkuri-san
78. Hoozuki no Reitetsu
77. Girlfriend Beta
76. Invaders of the Rokujyoma!?
75. Pupa
74. Baby Steps
73. Tokyo Ravens
72. Kamigami no Asobi
71. Silver Spoon
70. Gundam Build Fighters
69. Momo Kyun Sword
68. Noragami
67. Glasslip
66. Brynhilder in the Darkness
65. Robot Girls Z
64. Strike the Blood
63. Daimidaler: Prine vs Penguin Empire
62. Is The Order a Rabbit?
61. Bladedance of Elementars
60. The World is Still Beautiful
59. Nobunagun
58. The Pilot’s Love Song
57. Celestial Method
56. Yowamushi Pedal
55. Recently, My Sister is Unusual
54. Wake Up, Girls!
53. Riddle Story of Devil
52. In Search of Lost Future
51. Locodol

I really have nothing against most of the shows in this tier, but honestly most of them did absolutely nothing for me. Even the Tomino-esque Pilot’s Love Song was more boring in the level of constant death than any show has the right to be.

I Found Something Interesting About This Group, But Couldn’t Get Into Them

50. Blue Spring Ride
49. Strange+
48. Fate/kaleid liner Prisma Illya 2wei!
47. Encouragement of Climb 2nd Season
46. My Sister Came
45. Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions – Heart Throb
44. Inugami-san to Nekoyama-san
43. Rail Wars!
42. Himegoto
41. Love Stage!
40. Log Horizon
39. Ai Mai Mi: Mousou Catastrophe
38. Hanayamata
37. Blade and Soul
36. Black Bullet
35. Mekakucity Actors
34. Hi-scool Seha Girls
33. When Supernatural Battles Became Commonplace
32. Space Brothers
31. One Week Friends
30. Trinity Seven
29. Inari, Konkon, Koi Iroha
28. Akame ga Kill!
27. Lord Marksman and Vanadis
26. Monthly Girls Nozaki-kun
25. Haikyuu!!
24. Gonna Be the Twin-tails!!
23. Sakura Trick
22. Pupipo!
21. Hunter x Hunter

So even at 21, I only watched one episode of Hunter x Hunter and it was good enough to get this high. The episode count it kind of high. The rest is filled with things I could like momentarily, but just couldn’t fall in love with the shows here. It’s not the shows themselves that are the problem, it’s me. Why always me?

The Ten Outside the Top 10

20. Date A Live II
19. If Her Flag Breaks
18. Engaged to the Unidentified
17. The Fruit of Grisaia
16. Tonari no Seki-kun: The Master of Killing Time
15. A Good Librarian Like a Good Shepherd
14. Orenchi no Furo Jijou
13. Soni-Ani: Super Sonico the Animation
12. Nisekoi
11. Seitokai Yakuindomo*

I put a lot of value into emotional investment in anime. If something that most people find terrible is something that I can find even a little bit of emotional value in, it rates highly for me. I suppose that makes me a sick reactionary bastard who really has no taste of his own. And I’d probably have not much of a good answer for you. Special credit to Grisaia here for illustrating what Golgo 13 would be like if it was set up like a school harem anime. Also for Super Sonico for delivering one of my best 4 episodes of the year in an unexpected fashion.

The Actual Top Ten

10. Amagi Brilliant Park

Amagi is something of a return to form for KyoAni seeing as it wasn’t overly sentimental with characters I wanted to punch in the face even if they were animals or teenagers who should know better with their lives.

9. Wooser’s Hand-to-Mouth Life: Awakening Arc

Wooser was everything that Gundam 00 should have been in the end. It managed to improve on that show without even trying too hard. Long live the strange cross-promotion in the coming third season.

8. The Kawai Complex Guide to Manors and Hostel Behavior

The main couple never really goes anywhere seeing as Ritsu has made books her lovers. The real standout characters from this show were Shiro, Sayaka and Mayumi. That last one earned me being quoted in the title of a FAPcast episode.

7. No-Rin

This was a really fun harem show. It just had so much going on that it’s hard to remember that this show actually tried to do serious stuff in the middle of jokes about farmers and a 40 year old school teacher trying to find herself a man in desperate fashion. The ending was a bit of a let down seeing as HE DECIDED NOT TO CHOOSE ANYONE </sameharemending>

6. Denki-gai no Honya-san

My favorite shipping anime of the year. This was a surprisingly sweet show about a group of low-paid laborers in a book store that happened to care about each other. The romantic elements just made things better, though the Mitsudomoe-esque episode with Sommelier and P-Man was the show at its worst, even with a terrible 2nd episode. It was too many misses to make the top 5.

5. D-Frag!!

This was another silly comedy from early this year. I really liked how there were harem elements thrown into this show, but the main character was just so overwhelmed by how silly the entire world was that his only talent is that he looks like a delinquent. I’d also add that Shawn Conecone was the coolest character in anime this year. It’s like they took the guy from the Dos Equis adverts and put him in this show as “Most Interesting Anime Character in the World.”

4. Witch Craft Works

The top 4 here are pretty much far and away the best shows of the year for me. Witch Craft Works brings something new with each rewatch. There’s a level of detail in this show that I thought had disappeared from modern anime, but it’s still there if people really want to. The characters are all fun too, but I fear that this show is probably a one-off that no one else really liked. There are too many flaws (Ayaka is too perfect, brocon little sister, ending at a terrible spot) to think that there would be support for a second season of this.

3. World Conquest Zvezda Plot

On a similar note, Zvezda was another show that had the same kind of feeling. It did ask interesting questions with regards to how people find themselves on the “wrong” side of the system. The slow burning reveal as to the status of Japan was also a very nice touch. They could have gone in saying that “in a post-apocalyptic Japan…”, but they timed it perfectly with the reveal near the end. Also, the “No Smoking” episode was one of my top 4 episodes of the year.

2. I Can’t Understand What My Husband is Saying

Yes, only I would put a 3 minute short into 2nd place on an end of year list. This is a charming comedy about an otaku husband and the wife that accepts him for who he is. Not much time is spent on how these 2 got together beyond a dinner and his resume showing up at her store. Otherwise, most of the rest of the time is spent on these two trying to figure out how to be a married couple that loves each other and the struggles that come with it.

1. No Game No Life

Admittedly, picking No Game No Life just means that I am selling smut on this blog, but since no one reads this I’m in the clear. It just so happens to be the only show I watched this year that made me think that this is a show that will appeal to a lot of people, the people involved with production had lots of fun with it, messed around with different ideas on the foundations of society and it was also a show I enjoyed. That’s enough reason for it to earn number 1 spot in what was generally a down year from my perspective.

The defending Best Girl Champion

Last year, the Definitive Best Girl ranking made its debut to critical fanfare. All arguments stopped over who was the best girl in each of those series after that since one cannot debate objective facts. In this second edition, a selection committee was formed that would take into account each girl’s record against their respective competition so that they could get a complete resume on each of them. There was a bit of controversy as in the final weeks the production committees of all of these shows advocated hard for a place in the final four playoff positions, but ultimately everyone came to the conclusion that this was the true Definitive Best Girl ranking. If the show you are looking for is not listed in this post, that’s because it is in the second-tier Best Girl Championship Subdivision.

1. Roboko (Sekai Seifuku)

2. Twoearle (Twintails)

3. Tobiichi Origami (Date A Live II)

4. Tsunashi Kaoru (I Can’t Understand My Husband)

T-5. Kagari Ayaka & Kuraishi Tanpopo (Witch Craft Works co-champions)

7. Sento Isuzu (Amagi Brilliant Park)

8. Amakusa Shino (Seitokai Yakuindomo*)

9. Seishirou Tsugumi (Nisekoi)

10. Nishikino Mayumi (Kawaisou)

11. Takao (D-FragI)

12. Ukanomitama-no-kami (Inari, Konkon, Koi Iroha)

13. Kazami Levi (Trinity Seven)

14. Eleonora Viltaria (Madan no Ou to Vanadis)

15. Fujimi Suzu (Super Sonico)

16. Lieselotte Sherlock (Trinity Seven)

17. Tsumori Haruka (Denki-gai)

18. Yonomori Benio (Mikakunin de Shinkoukei)

19. Jibril (No Game No Life)

20. Kinoshita Ringo (Nourin)

21. Ludmila Lourie (Madan no Ou to Vanadis)

22. Baron Ashura (Robot Girls Z)

23. Mitsuka Miharu (Twintails)

24. Sensei (Denki-gai)

25. Tachibana Marika (Nisekoi)

Unranked Best Girls By Series

Black Bullet – Muroto Sumire
Buddy Complex – Elvira Hill
Chaika – Chaika Trabant
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai – Suzuki Kana
Girlfriend and Wooser – Miss Monochrome
Golden Time – Nana
Grisaia – Yuria Harudera
Hi-sChool Seha Girls – Sega Saturn
Hozuki no Reitetsu – Okou
I Can’t Understand My Husband – Chaika Trabant
If Her Flag Breaks – Nanami Knight Bladefield
Imocho – Kiritani Yukina
Inou-Battle – Himeki Chifuyu
Nobunagun – Asao Kaoru
Noragami – Iki Hiyori
One Week Friends – Fujimiya Shiho
Onee-chan ga Kita – Mizuhara Ichika
Pilot’s Love Song – Sonia Palez
Pupipo – Himeji Wakaba
Sakura Trick – Iizuka Yuzu
Tonari no Seki-kun – Yokoi Rumi
Ushinawareta Mirai wo Motomete – Hasekura Airi
Wake Up, Girls – Yoshikawa Megumi
Yuuki Yuuna – Tougou Mimori
Z/X: Ignition – Fierte

No Qualifying Characters for Best Girl

Ai Mai Mi Mousou Catastrophe
Akuma no Riddle
Daimidaler
Go!Go! 575
Hamatora
Magical Warfare
Pupa
Sora no Method
Strange+
Wizard Barristers

Worst Girls by Series

Ai Mai Mi Mousou Catastrophe – None
Akuma no Riddle – Hashiri Nio
Amagi Brilliant Park – None
Black Bullet – Mibu Asaka
Buddy Complex – Lene Kleinbeck
Chaika – None
D-Frag – Shinsen
Daimidaler – Kiyuna Kiriko
Daitoshokan no Hitsujikai – Takigawa Aoi
Date A Live II – Jessica Bayley
Denki-gai – None
Girlfriend – None/All, They All Blend Together
Go!Go! 575 – Yosano Yuzu
Golden Time – Every Girl Other Than Nana
Grisaia – Irisu Makina
Hamatora – Every Female Character Except Hajime
Hi-sChool Seha Girls – None
Hozuki no Reitetsu – Lady Lilith
If Her Flag Breaks – Sakura
Imocho – Kotobuki Hiyori
Inari, Konkon, Koi Iroha – Oomiyanoma-no-kami
Inou-Battle – None
Kawaisou – None
Madan no Ou to Vanadis – Regin Ester Loire Basien do Charles
Magical Warfare – Every Female Character
Mikakunin de Shinkoukei – Suetsugi Konoha
Nisekoi – Kirisaki Chitoge and Onodera Kosaki
No Game No Life – None
Nobunagun – Iyo
Noragami – Stray
Nourin – Kanegami Torao
One Week Friends – None
Onee-chan ga Kita – Mochizuki Marina
Pilot’s Love Song – Sharon Morcoz
Pupa – Hasegawa Sachiko
Pupipo – Sonoda Miyori
Robot Girls Z – Ankoku Daishougun
Sakura Trick – Otokawa Sumi
Seitokai Yakuindomo* – Yokoshima Naruko
Sekai Seifuku – Hayabusa Kaori
Sora no Method – Togawa Shione
Strange+ – Miwa
Super Sonico – None
Tonari no Seki-kun – Gotou Sakurako
Trinity Seven – Ilya
Twintails – Shindou Emi
Ushinawareta Mirai wo Motomete – Sasaki Kaori
Wake Up, Girls – Tange Junko
Witch Craft Works – Ofuku
Wizard Barristers – Every Female Character
Wooser – None
Yuuki Yuuna – Yuuki Yuuna
Z/X: Ignition – Mikage Aina

This is the effort I get from my lone carryover series from the fall.

At this point in the season, there’s just Studio Arms (actually Arms Corporation if we are being completely accurate) series Isuca left to air. So for the most part we can consider that all of the good shows have already started to air. That’s mostly good news for the anime fans out there that aren’t me. What lies ahead is probably one of the most sad first impression posts of the current season that you will read, but that’s mainly because this season has been so meagre from my point of view.

Cute High Earth Defense Club LOVE!

First episode of the year was a lot better than last year’s horrific ***** *****. That said, I wasn’t feeling particularly anything from this episode. Just doing magical boy transformation sequences and having dumb looking monsters of the week isn’t enough for me. After all, even Twintails did a lot better with the latter judging by the chikuwa monster in this episode. Dropped

Absolute Duo

I knew going in that this was going to be pretty appalling. They basically remove the best girl from the show early on (only to have her reappear and become a co-worst girl) and the appalling excuse for humanity that licensed this appears to think the main character has come from Asgard bearing a shield instead of a hammer. Dropped with extreme prejudice

Kancolle

The browser game that amuses me with reading tweets like “Why is 3-2 so hard?” and knowledge that it is possible for the player to marry one of their ships for an extra level boost had an anime adaptation for this season. This turned out to be one of those shows that is just impenetrable for someone who is not a fan of the games, or I’m just incredibly dense. Hence, I spent most of the time already wondering if I would be watching anything come the end of the month. Potential Future Sleep Aid

The Testament of Sister New Devil

I’m not sure that title is actually English even if all of the words indicate that it is. This is one of the fantasy harem shows from the season. In this one, the protagonist Basara gets a couple of surprise new family members one of whom turns out to be a succubus and the other is a future demon king…oh and he happens to be a Hero and not some normal kid. Unfortunately, he proves to be unworthy of the name Basara as he is yet another harem lead who waffles over what to do like almost all of them are. Will be forced to watch as part of The Classiest Anime

Yuri Kuma Arashi

And with this episode, all desire to ever watch Utena has disappeared. I’m sure others will be writing long form blog posts that explain all the intricacies of every single second of Ikuhara’s new masterpiece. I’d rather not have to have a reference guide to accompany each episode I watch. Maybe I will come back and revisit it, but I think this is best marathoned all at once. Will be assigned to me in a future Secret Santa

Military!

I will give this 3.5 minute short series all the time in this post it deserves. I’d rather watch the dad as a mercenary. Sentenced to fight in the jungles of Southeast Asia

Assassination Classroom

A monster with the ability to end humanity decides to become a teacher to a bunch of rejected students who attempt to kill him to save humanity. He’s also really good at his job, which is why this first episode disappointed me. I really just wanted these students to start accepting their fate to die in a year, but they are just going to get more driven to kill him while becoming better people. Fired in vain at the moon

Koufuku Graffiti

And so Shaft made a show about eating that isn’t very serious at all. It turns out that it happened to be like Hidamari Sketch with a hedonistic food tilt to it. The very act of eating is portraying in the most sexual way possible for all foods consumed in this series. It’s like having the toothbrush scene potentially happening multiple times per episode. It wore thin pretty quick, even if I did like the food being consumed. Dropped unlike the weight of these characters if they were real.

Durarara!! X2

Hey, a sequel that I can actually watch this season. It’s been a while so maybe I’ve forgotten why I really liked the first season. I think the only thing that I could recall after this first episode was that Dojikko Celty was very fun to watch and the rest of the cast are incredibly dull and boring in their eccentricities. That’s disappointing and I probably overrate the first season now. Memories can be a bad thing after a certain amount of time has passed. Quickly forgotten

The Rolling Girls

So this show was really vibrant and really pretty to look at. Which is why ultimately it got worse in my mind over the days after I watched the first episode as I couldn’t seem to grasp what the show is actually about. I really liked those first few minutes too, but I cannot find the substance underneath the bright shine. Rolling off of the road into a ditch

Dog Days”

By this point, desperate for something to actually watch going forward I was getting pretty close to accepting anything. At least Dog Days seems to get the whole consistency down. Add a new character or two between seasons, but generally stick to the same light-substance story that gives each of the characters on this loaded cast some time of their own. Cinque is going to keep adding girls to his harem, but at least he is an athlete who does impressive stuff as a hero, even if his balls haven’t dropped yet. It will be so bad when Becky wins because she’s nowhere near Best Girl material. Like the Oakland Raiders it took 11 attempts to finally break through

Maria the Virgin Witch

I really wanted to like this show about a witch who trolls the people of northern France while also being mocked incessantly about her virginity that is essential to keeping her witch powers. However, it just felt a little too all knowing about everything that is to come and kind of snide if I had to put a word to it. I’m sure this one turns out to be a great show, but I am going to be on the sidelines to seeing that happen. Banished back to Britain

Samurai Warriors

Some stuff happens in the first episode, it’s not very effective. The fans of the game this was adapted from would probably like it. I’ve been saying that about a bunch of different shows lately and maybe I should start playing some of these games someday. But not this one though if it is this boring. Sent to the bargain bin

World Break: Aria of Curse for a Holy Swordsman

That’s another title that doesn’t make sense in this particular fantasy harem show. This is basically about how people retain past lives and our main character happens to have multiple so that he has girls all over him because they were lovers in a past life and we also get an incest show that involves characters not even related to each other in anyway. Honestly, this one is appalling after an ironically funny opening few minutes. At least give us a joke that can stay consistently funny as it is repeated each time…Somehow struggling to think of something beyond dropping

Unlimited Fafnir

And this is instantly undroppable with a line like that. Officially Klay Thompson’s favorite anime

Saekano – No One Should Come Up With As Terrible a Subtitle As This

And finally, the most anticipated Noitamina show since they decided to stop caring and give two seasons of Guilty Crown to all of humanity. This proved to be my favorite show of the season to date, but alas I can only call it pretty good. I don’t think this can really be considered a harem either like everyone else will refer to it. The protagonist Tomoya could not give less of a shit about the romantic feelings the other girls have for him. Friendship, on the other hand, that’s what he really wants, but Megumi is his number 1. I just want to see where this goes as it will be the only real bit of adventure I get this season. Kept without much else to do this season

So you may be asking why there are just 17 shows in this list above when there are several more series airing this season? In general that’s just because I have a simple rule with two exceptions.

“I shall not pick up a series that is originated from another series that I have not completed.”

The exceptions to that particular rule are a) if someone I really trust with in their taste makes a compelling argument as to why I should watch it; and b) it is adapted from a Leaf visual novel which automatically makes it worth watching (see White Album 2).

I shall be watching in all likelihood three shows this season, but what are others saying about this group of shows:

So that’s me on the lonely taste island again. I should have kept Koufuku Graffiti because at least the food would taste good.

Recently I’ve finally been able to put into words what I have felt about watching anime over the last 13 months. At first, the question after this season’s tremendous amounts of drops was Do I Even Like Anime Anymore? I can’t say I stopped liking it since I still watch some shows, but that would probably now put me in the filthy casual category. Instead, the question has now become, is White Album 2 going to end up being the last anime I will ever fall in love with?

The Case For

I need to start by saying that White Album 2 is a spectacularly good show. In essence it is a perfect love triangle filled with heartwarming moments, feelings of regret, separation anxiety and deep down the feeling that it will end tragically for everyone through no fault of anyone. Haruki, Touma and Setsuna put the audience through an emotional wringer as their desires to be friends conflict with their confused adolescent emotions as they approach the end of their time together in high school. They push each other to be better as friends, but then feelings get in the way. It’s a show that caused a lot of heated debate in conversations I had back when it aired and I just do not see that coming from any show that has aired in recent times.

The second point is that the last five season’s worth of shows have not been very good in my opinion. I had No Game, No Life as my favorite show of last season even as I thought the short series I Can’t Understand What My Husband is Saying was the best show I watched in 2014 because it made me care about a married couple more in 2 minutes than any other characters over the course of the year. With sequels and rushed light novel adaptations beginning to take a hold in the marketplace for now, it feels like things are slowly, but unknowingly descending into the deep abyss for me.

The third point is that my own tastes have shifted in recent times. I’ve become increasingly safe in my choice of shows. With a harem show the biggest disappointment I can feel is that it wasn’t very good and the main character was pretty bad. I’ve been let down by shows trying to be the next Madoka (Yuuki Yuuna), a show that messed about with memories but chose to do nothing (One Week Friends), a fun manga I really liked that screwed up the adaptation (Trinity Seven), and finished a Kyoto Animation series where I felt nothing for any of the characters (Amagi Brilliant Park). I’ve just been left as an empty husk of feelings toward watching anything, so why should I even try to embrace shows that will only disappoint me in the end.

Finally, there’s that obvious feeling that no one really cares what I watch anyway. So if there are 3 people watching Saekano this season, I’m talking to all of them in an echo chamber. I don’t think anyone else is watching Bonpati. It doesn’t really matter about those other two shows since I’m really watching them to fill time. Oh, and if you think I’m just imagining this, then I…I will just let this guy take it. Thanks to the fun that is Anime Power Rankings I get to find out that the best show I’m watching this season is just the 19th most popular among a select community. It’s just turned into a positive feedback loop where I end up liking less and less popular shows so I have no one to talk to about them. I’m not even going to say they are good like I’m a potential hipster either.

The Case Against

Well of course I am on an island in terms of the shows I watch because my taste is so terrible. If only I would give shows like Death Parade, Jojo’s or Yatterman Night a chance then I wouldn’t be feeling so isolated in terms of what I watched. It’s that I come up with stupid rules as to why I will not even start certain shows like the dumb Fate/Stay Night rule.* So I will just keep missing out on the other shows that are even more popular because I think I will hate them.

Then as far as the other points, let me start by saying that White Album 2 isn’t even considered that good. It’s pure wish fulfillment anime in the fact that Haruki would never have a chance with two girls who are that attractive and much more talented than he is. He is also stupid in his indecisiveness that no realistic teenager would have. The friendship at the center of the show is too perfect either. Instead I should have thought that shows like Nozaki-kun, Parasyte and even Nisekoi are much better than White Album 2. I fell in love with a show that deserves to be in one of those 20 DVD for $5 packages except that no one even licensed the show because it is so terrible. No one should like that show let alone me.

As far as the desperate disappointment that I keep getting from shows that have aired over the last year, that’s life. There are no happy endings only bad ones. Did anyone really think Yuuki Yuuna was going to have a competent ending? No, no one in their right mind would have so of course that was to be expected. Amagi Brilliant Park was brilliant but I can’t truly appreciate it for what it is because I lack positive feelings of any sort.

Also, let’s get to all of the shows that I didn’t even bother to finish or watch last year. I had Kill La Kill as one of my worst shows of the year and actually everyone really fucking loved that show so I needed to love it as well. Even more people liked Ping Pong, but no it was too hipster for me. Then there’s Space Dandy, actually I had a point there, what were those people thinking liking it. Alright, then how about Gundam Build Fighters, everyone who watches it loves it, but I couldn’t get over the dumb premise of people intentionally breaking other people’s gunpla in competition. Just let it go man.

Sorry, the Prison School anime is next season.

I thought I would never come back to writing posts like these. They never turn out to work, I spend a ton of time and effort and no one really reads them anyway. However, I really needed something, anything to write about this season that wasn’t terribly meta or utterly depressing. So here I am back again to write about the upcoming season and not a single one of you will actually read this paragraph.

The obvious caveats that go with this are numerous. If you’ve listened to any of the recent Friday Anime Podcast season preview episodes, I’m the guy who knows fuck all about studios and who has a taste worse than Kelloggs, but no one bothers anymore about saying that because I’m beyond hope. So don’t expect to be informed by any of this.

So I haven’t died or fallen off the face of the Earth in maintaining this blog, though the reason for my long absence and reduced posting this year has been related to death itself. So to pass some time, I went back and watched an old DVD copy of The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi in the original broadcast order because that’s how I remember it best. The reason I picked this and not any of my other favorite series is because I’ve been catching up on The Disappearance of Nagato Yuki, and it’s already in the discussion of what Satelight’s 2nd best anime is since nothing will ever match White Album 2.

The first episode of the series was the film the club made for the school festival late in the show’s timeline. It’s just as terrible as I remember it, though looking back on it 9 years after I first saw the episode, I think Kyoani overused the moped entering the shot trope a little too often in this episode.

Or here where a guy gets into his car and starts to drive away as Yuki is trying to retreat for “reasons”

I think the best parts of this episode were the parts where Kyon as this film’s narrator was just talking shit about the film and when the plot got bored of itself and decided to just go full blown love-comedy cliche. There’s a final battle where you see awesome effects like this.

Then onto the main story for a little bit. Kyon gets introduced to Haruhi sitting directly in front of her in class and gets to hear the infamous self-introduction. After trying to make conversation with her for the first time, Taniguchi steps in and we get the chalk drawing story. That’s where something looked familiar.

Compare that to the 2nd episode of Nagato Yuki.

I would’ve got the whole image in, but that damn company that is less profitable than BBQ rub formulas insists on hard-subbing the shit out of everything they have.

That’s pretty good and at least means there’s some consistency over that lasted 9 years. Kyon ended up getting things started on his own beginning with talking about Haruhi’s hair, and down the rabbit hole he went.

That led to Kyon suffering this concussive blow:

So we can safely assume the rest of the franchise took place in Kyon’s CTE-riddled mind. Or not, since that’s kind of sad. Yuki and Mikuru get reintroduced and the club has a name by the end of the episode. Then it was on to episode 3 (or part 2 of the main story), where Haruhi decided the SOS-dan needed a new PC. So she heads to the Computer Club to work her idiotic form of magic:

False sexual harassment and rape threats to obtain goods. How hilarious, ugh. I knew I had purged that out of my memory for a reason, maybe this was a comedy trope in the mid-00s. The episode is filled with all sorts of fanservice, but it’s okay because Haruhi is behind it all. Then there’s also shots like this to really get the point of this episode across:

After 19 minutes of this we get the whole point of the episode which is Yuki’s big reveal at the end. I did enjoy the fact that Yuki poured Kyon cups of tea three times before they got on with that. This franchise sure likes repetition, I’ll tell you that.

The fourth episode took a break from the storyline and was a baseball episode which was a lot more boring than I remember. Since it was some months after the main storyline, this episode is really all over the place with references to stuff that would have already happened. That’s probably the biggest complaint anyone can have with regard to airing the episodes in this order. Anyway, Yuki proves to have the ultimate baseball mind in that she cheats to win, though the fate of the Earth was on the line.

Kyoani really liked these kind of shots at the time.

So onto the last episode of the day and to the 3rd episode of the main story. It begins with more exposition that must have been fun as hell to write and produce, but means absolutely shit for the viewer because all that matters is that Yuki isn’t human and Haruhi has immense power that Kyon. Itsuki is introduced, then Kyon goes on a brief date with Mikuru.

It’s really cute until Mikuru spills the beans about being a time-traveler then later talked to Itsuki whose group of espers treats Haruhi as a god. In between there was some time for Kadokawa to engage in some cross-promotion:

Personally I think I liked it better when it was fake cross-promotion in the Mikuru bad movie than this blatant.

So in conclusion from this first set of episodes, I can only think of a couple of things that stand out so far. The whole broadcast order was set so that the series would end in a climax since 5 quick episodes then a bunch of pointless club doing activity episodes must not have worked back then. I think in the nine years since this series aired, that idea was proven wrong. Whole shows have been made that featured nothing happening other than high school club members doing activities with little drama. Some of them have actually been pretty good too.

The other thought is that this show does look a bit dated now. Kyoani’s shows look a lot more polished than this even if it did look good for the time. I also think with the amount of time they spend on detailed fanservice shots to kill some seconds that it is also a series that I don’t think they would make anymore. It just feels like it is made by someone completely different from this season’s Hibike! Euphonium or Hyouka.

Free was always destined to be made.

It’s back to watching the same old show as last time in weird order. The first segment wasn’t good enough to get a comment, so I will try to do better next time. Maybe I have to trash characters for no reason and wait three years for anyone to care. As alluded to in the title, this is the middle portion of the original series run which only covers one episode of the main story and is otherwise just filler with random plot points thrown in.

The first episode of this session is the first half of the Remote Island story. The first thing I notice is just how much “quality” is in the animation in the first part of the episode. You simply don’t see this from Kyoani shows anymore, maybe the DVD release I got wasn’t cleaned up at all. It just looks like a rushed show from 2006.

To be honest I think when I watched these episodes during the original run I was pretty bored and I purged out of my mind how shit this episode looked. The dead body thing at the end of the episode was the most interesting thing that happened in the episode, at least until the 2nd half.

Then the next episode which is just before the last one chronologically at least. This gets into Haruhi building the group’s website. I can finally say this now, but the SOS-dan logo looks like shit. Not as bad as the animation in the last episode though.

Glorious Windows XP art programs here.

Ultimately this is about Haruhi and Kyon making a website that was so badly designed it broke the world. I would say it’s the ultimate in shitposting. Kimidori Emiri appeared and the nation of Honduras was mentioned as well. Ultimately the episode came down to the battle with a bad CG cricket in an enclosed space and Mikuru generally being useless for comedy reasons.

The last thing I wanted to talk about in this episode was Kyon’s reaction to all of this. He came to the realization that his role is to make life normal for Haruhi while everyone else could do amazing things within their own roles. The gravity of his role didn’t seem apparent to him yet though.

Now to the middle of the middle segment of this series, the 2nd half on the island and oh man it still looks like garbage. I guess this is what happens to Kyoani in crunch.

I came out of this episode liking this island arc even less than I did when I first watched it nine years ago. The resolution to all of this was pretty much bullshit designed to keep Haruhi busy for a summer trip. There’s one little nugget that I got out of this though, my artistic talent may just be good enough to make it as an animator:

On to what is really the last episode chronologically out of anything that has been animated in this particular universe and thankfully just one of 3 filler episodes remaining, Someday in the Rain. Basically this episode breaks down into two separate components after the plot device for this episode is introduced. Haruhi sends Kyon off to get a space heater from a shop 2 train stations over and it cuts between him and whatever is happening in the clubroom. Yuki also serves to censor a lot of what happens in the room like this:

It’s ultimately an episode that can be considered the true slice of life. There’s no narrative to this episode and it’s really, really boring if not for the unique structure of it. There’s even a section where minutes are spent between Yuki silently reading pages of a book as people talk in another room and Kyon silently riding on the train. Minutes and minutes of this.

At the end of the episode Kyon falls asleep with the space heater going in the room and wakes up as Haruhi is standing next to him. At the time, the rest of the episode felt sort of adorable with the pseudo-romance going on between the two of them. Now, it just feels like Kyon is sort of a dick who would gladly lust after Mikuru if the fate of the entire world didn’t depend on him not doing that and Haruhi is just sort of like the kid who insists on getting her own way only with God powers. Damn my cynicism.

And now to the final episode of the post, the 4th episode of the main story. Everyone’s favorite mother character of the season Asakura Ryoko takes the main role in this episode as she foreshadows something interesting happening in the soft opening. Not like Kyon is going to be put in danger or anything, oh wait. Here’s Haruhi looking upset that putting perverted images on the internet is a bad thing:

Back to Ryoko and here’s an example of the shit looking subtitles I’ve had to put up with in watching this. Mid-00s DVD release subtitles were the worst:

Yellow, so yellow

Just as Kyon’s death looks pretty imminent, her attack is stopped by Yuki, but he yells out that it hurts still for no reason. Like he was comically anticipating something that didn’t happen, kind of like this. Yuki is definitely looking in pretty good shap during this fight:

Still so much yellow.

As if that wasn’t enough to happen in a single episode they crammed in Mikuru from the future showing up as well and creating a massive time paradox. She also gives away the conclusion of the main story, but I wouldn’t have known that at the time I watched this.

So that’s a set of episodes that is utterly forgettable until the very end. I think at this point I’ve made a mistake of re-watching these episodes and then writing about them. Last time I went and said that Kyoto Animation wouldn’t have made this show again given the choice. This time, I can say that nine years ago they weren’t really an animation studio that stood out from the rest in what they were doing with their work. It just looks like most everything else at the time and most of the effort went into scenes involving Mikuru anyway.

At least if they can get better over just a few years of surviving adapting Jun Maeda’s works then there is hope for any small animation studio to become better than they are now.

That’s right Taniguchi and Kunikida, Tsuruya-san is better than Mikuru.

It’s now on to the final part of this strange journey into what was at the time of airing one of my favorite shows of all time. The second season put a bit of a dent into it, but the memories of the feelings caused by something linger longer than the actual events themselves. Or something along those lines anyway. This last set of episodes includes two filler episodes where Yuki does awesome stuff and the concert scene that was the greatest in anime until White Album 2 was a thing before the final two episodes of the main story. And ponytails. So on with the show.

The first episode is the episode titled The Day of Sagittarius, which sees the SOS-dan take on the computer club in a rigged space warfare game. The first thing that struck me was the CG ships. There’s a lot of Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V action going on there, yet it looks better than Mouretsu Space Pirates. Kyoto Animation 1-0 Satelight.

The setup for this episode begins with everyone who speaks apart from Mikuru acting like an asshole. Kyon wants to be praised for all the stuff he does for Haruhi, Itsuki mocks him for it, the computer club president wants his dumb duel and Haruhi lands a drop kick on the side of his head for simply being there before they all talk shit to each other. Challenge accepted with the PC that Haruhi extorted from the computer club on the line with the SOS-dan receiving 4 laptops if they win.

After Itsuki spends time shipping Haruhi x Kyon, there’s a training montage:

Awesome mouse skills.

This is going to go well. Haruhi has them train with stupid tactics for several days until the time comes for the final battle. The computer club cheats with scouting mode turned on until Yuki makes them play by the rules like a boss and has changes the game to make both sides equal. From there it’s a formality and the SOS-dan possesses some new PCs and Yuki looks like she’s interested in games. We knew that already:

One last thing about this episode. The game itself that they are playing has a rather catchy tune, even in 8-bit and more orchestral in the final battle itself. However, my favorite version is the Tokyo Orchestral version here.

On to the next episode which has the big concert scene in it. As much as I would just link to a clip of it, there’s more in that episode than that particular scene. It’s part of a school festival arc and though this may never top Hyouka‘s, it’s bound to be the best part of the show.

It’s starts off with a couple points of interest. Kyon is still a lustful teenager with his specifically dedicating time to spend going to see Mikuru at the yakisoba stand. Also, Itsuki performing Rosenkrantz & Guildenstern are Dead and not understanding comedy, but having no problems since the young girls in the audience are lusting after him. As Kyon leaves his friends behind after visiting Mikuru’s class’s yakisoba room for 5 minutes he heads to the concert hall to catch some sleep.

Before the defining scene of this episode, I think there’s a great level of appreciation put into the acts before Haruhi, Yuki and the 2 Rock Club members perform. There’s a concert band which is okay, and a pair of acts that are awful but a few people like because they are in on the jokes. There’s also ones of people watching too.

So the concert itself was as good as I remembered it, but the animation during “Lost My Music” was totally mailed in. The rest of the episode is pretty pedestrian and hints at a deep relationship between Kyon and Haruhi, until the latter just drags him away on another overly ambitious adventure.

Finally, we are back to the main story in the penultimate episode. What was wrong with believing Asakura would relocate to Canada? Isn’t that where all of the awesome people live? Since they are investigating Ryouko for the first part of this episode, Haruhi asks a bunch of questions to the apartment manager of the building where Ryouko lived. At one point as the conversation is going nowhere, he wonders if Haruhi would become a detective. No, that would be the lazier, better version of you in Hyouka, Kyon. Another thing I noticed before the philosophical point of the series was revealed was that there was a lot of things walking and turning around corners here.

So what this series is about is a desire make one’s life interesting by filling it with interesting people to make up for one’s own thought that they are boring. I can relate to this, but there are really an exceptionally small number of interesting people in the world on a global scale. One simply has to make the best of it over the course of their own life. Or let’s just get another interpretation of what this series is about:

Itsuki explains “Anthropic principle” to Kyon as they travel to fight a disturbance in the world created by Haruhi. So we have our other idea behind this series, the world exists as it is because Haruhi wants it to be that way. Since she’s a teenage girl filled with internal conflict, that world happens to be very unstable. I just don’t think the gravity of the situation was really felt by any of the characters. Kyon just casually accepts the news that his and the rest of humanity’s entire existence is at the whim of the girl who makes his life hell. What an asshole and don’t try to bail it out with your Legend of Galactic Heroes level historical narration either, Kyon.

On to the final episode now, which begins with Kyon continuing to act like an irresponsible asshole responsible for saving the world. In fact, he’s pretty much an asshole for the first half of this episode by lying to Taniguchi then trying to look at the perverted pics of Mikuru while in the same damn room, then he has the audacity to not give a shit about Haruhi changing in the clubroom while he is there. Just blow it all up.

Haruhi and Kyon wake up in an enclosed space and Kyon gets fed the hints for resolving the situation by Itsuki and then Yuki before the giant monster shows up. The monster that starts destroying shit makes Haruhi extremely happy. The ending ends up being really rushed and of course there’s that terrible ponytail line and kiss at the end.

So that’s that for re-watching this show from 9 years ago. As far as the broadcast order goes, I think I’ve come around to it actually working out with the final episodes here. That middle portion was pretty dumb and the island arc might be among the worst things Kyoto Animation has done that isn’t related to Munto or a Key adaptation. At the same time, it still feels like a show that was poorly paced while having the correct number of episodes. The ending to the 6th episode of the main story would feel rushed whether it was the 14th, 6th, 7th or 28th damn episode of however format you would want to watch it in.

In the end, I have to come to the conclusion that this show isn’t really as good as I remember it. It’s not that 9/10 epoch creating anime that I thought it was 9 years ago. It’s still pretty fun when it wants to be, but there’s just key qualities missing that while allowing this to be popular at the time will prevent it from being a classic series.

In the aftermath of this series, KyoAni and the director Ishihara Tatsuya would spend the next couple years making Key adaptations and foisting Yamakan upon the world before hitting their best run of form with the K-On! series, Nichijou and Hyouka in succession, though one of those stands out as a completely unjust commercial failure. Now the studio is producing Hibike! Euphonium that is airing this season along with film adaptations of their other works. There will not be another season of Full Metal Panic.

As for the Haruhi franchise, the 2nd season would air in 2009 mixed in with episodes from this season in chronological order. The Endless Eight arc, featuring the same episode with slight variations each time eight times, about destroyed all good will the series had with the non-hardcore element of its fan base. While some of this goodwill was brought back by the alternate universe film The Disappearance of Suzumiya Haruhi, the franchise was as soon as out of the collective consciousness of fans as Hirano Aya’s career. Yet, the light novels kept being churned out for another couple of years after that, while a spinoff manga based on the Disappearance universe is now airing with the same cast of characters in a straight romantic comedy, which happened to inspire this re-watch. But it happens to be a Satelight anime now.

I would be so mad at Satelight right now if it weren’t for White Album 2.

“He brought this feature back for this!?”

“So it’s about uh, this guy Elric and he has a brother who lives in that armor suit. They are trying to get the brother’s body back after they messed around with alchemy and cost the guy his body. For some reason there are people after them too.”

– Me Attempting to Explain the Plot to Full Metal Alchemist to a Co-Worker circa 2006

I’ve decided to raise this feature from the dead after two years. It wasn’t simply a case of running out of shows that I hadn’t watched, but rather it felt like I was being compelled to only watch those shows that had infamously bad endings. Why not take on a show that is popular and pretty much watched by anyone who has casually watched anime, but that I had not seen? As for the explanation above, it was 11:30pm on a college campus where beer was being served a few feet away and I could only go off of what I had picked up about the show in vague things I read online. I think we’re good to go here.This episode begins after some sort of final battle deal where a guy who is now blind is learning all about Ishvalan agriculture so that he can help them get back to their holy land. This is Roy Mustang apparently, wow did I forget a lot over the years, and this Doctor Marcoh shows up with a stone that will allow him to see again, but he wants it to be used on someone else first. If it can be used multiple times, why the hell does it matter what order it’s used in? Because reasons I guess.

The next scene goes to a rich house where a guy named Scar, who has lots of scars on him (nominative determinism at its finest) was apparently saved by a couple of his allies, one of whom wants to use him to get back at Mustang. However, Scar has decided he needs to take on a new gimmick having already been killed twice. So he’s decided to go as Zodiac a man with no name. That’s a terrible gimmick especially for someone trying to save their homeland.

Meanwhile, the Brothers Elric go for a walk that sounds like it’s straight from a recording studio and looking pretty cheap to go along with that. Then a flashback where Ling tells May Chang that she’s not going to become the empress, but that he will do a good job in her place and continue to serve her. Back to the present and it’s confirmed that Al is in fact attracted to young girls who have some combat abilities. Did we really need to know that? Also considering how atrophied he looked after that final battle, he must have been eating a lot on this journey home. They arrive back home and the cliche reintroduction to a Winry; you know the one where she hears loved ones outside then the sound disappears as she sees them again for the first time. Yes, that. She also calls them idiots which is also cliche at this point.

Two years pass and Edward can’t use a hammer and it’s also time to see what everyone else has been up to. There’s a trio of characters who talk ominously about the little boy, but I don’t really know enough to care about any of them. Al talks to someone else about some girl who died during the story, then goes to meet a couple lackeys at a restaurant where he announces his plan to travel to Xing. Presumably to go after that girl with the cover of “I want to see the world” with his brother.

Speaking of him, he’s about to leave on a train. Then, he decides to give a cringeworthy marriage proposal as he’s boarding to Winry. I get the feeling this is just one of many dumb moments, but she accepts in a dumbly worded way anyway. While the train gives them several minutes for some reason, they get this romantic moment because it’s supposed to be heartwarming I guess.

That’s followed by a credits montage of where things went in the future filled with tons of characters I know nothing about. Oh and Ed and Winry have a pair of kids while Al got his lolicon on. Well at least until she’s judged to be too old. Then fade to black. End series.

Character Development: A- There’s pretty much no character development going on at this stage of the show. They had 63 episodes to build it up before this. The only bit of development really took place in the final few minutes when OTP status had to be confirmed for all those watching for their ships.

Plot Comprehension: C I had just as much understanding about what happened over the course of the series as I did going in to this episode. That might be a bit unfair on the score since this is more of an epilogue episode than an episode that captures the climax and denouement.

Unintentional Comedy: C+ There’s moments that had me thinking the production studio for this show, Bones, got to the last episode and decided ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Deus Ex Machina: No The story is already over so there’s no need for one at this point.

Sequel Potential: Non-existent Even I know that they timed the ending of this series to coincide with the ending of the manga. I mean yes they could bring it back for a spinoff or sequel, but why?